A Buddhist Technique for Dealing with Anger

Thich Nhat Hanh’s steps of mindfulness 

Step 1: Mindfulness of the Emotion

"We can say to ourselves,

• "Breathing in, I know that anger is in me. Breathing out I know that I am my anger."
• Or "Breathing in, I know that anger is in me. Breathing out I know that I must put all my energy into caring for my anger." 

When we are angry . . .

• We are the anger 
• Do not judge or repress the anger 
• Focus on the self, not on the other 
• as an older sister cares for a younger sister, 
• as a gardener sees with insight and non-dual vision the potential beauty of compost, 
• Gradually we can transform the anger completely into peace, love, and understanding 

To cool down:

Take a walk outside, meditating:

• Breathing in, I know that anger is here. 
• Breathing out, I know that the anger is me. 
• Breathing in, I know that anger is unpleasant 
• Breathing out, I know this feeling will pass. 
• Breathing in, I am calm. 
• Breathing out, I am strong enough to take care of this anger. 

From understanding to compassion

• When we are calm enough to look directly at the anger, we can begin to see its root causes: misunderstanding, clumsiness, injustice, resentment, or conditioning.
• Taking time, perhaps half an hour, to be mindful of the anger, transforms it.
• "Seeing and understanding are the elements of liberation that bring about love and compassion."

The roots of anger

The primary roots are in ourselves: 

• our lack of understanding of these causes of anger 
• our desire, pride, agitation, and suspicion 

The secondary roots are in the other. When we understand the factors that led to the other’s behavior, we can respond with help or discipline from a place of compassion. 

Becoming free of knots (internal formations)

• We learn to become aware of problematic reactions, handling them promptly and easily in the present. 
• We learn to let past problematic experiences come to mindfulness . 
• Practicing of breathing and smiling, we learn to look at our difficult emotions without having to turn away from them, seeing the associations based on past experience.
  

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